A Falling Dragon
by A Silent Conversation
Summary: Natsu Dragneel. Happy go lucky, hot headed fire mage...right? But what really lays behind the big smile and hotblooded attitude? Not even his friends know.
1. Let Go

**Guess who's back? Well, there really hasn't been a hiatus, but still. Can't stay away from writing fanfic for you lovely people.**

 **Now, this fanfic is going to get dark, very dark at some points. After all, this explores the darker side of Natsu's mind, what happens when someone as cheery as Natsu finds himself in a lonely and depressed state? That said, please please please be careful reading if you're recovering from any sort of depression, as I know how easy it can be to be triggered.**

 **Also, there will be a bit of naughty naughty later on, so that's where the M rating comes from. Nothing that violates Fanfictions' rules, but still pretty damn steamy.**

 **Without further ado, let my second fic...BEGIN!**

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Something was up with their Fairy Tail friend.

For years, Natsu Dragneel had pushed through those doors with nothing but a smile on his face and a hot-blooded urge to pick a fight with his longtime best friend/rival, Grey Fullbuster. But today, that confident smile was gone, replaced by a dull and surprisingly empty stare. Gone was his easygoing swagger, a shuffle in its' place. What had happened to the happy-go-lucky Dragon Slayer?

Now, nobody could deny that they hadn't noticed a change in his behavior over the recent weeks. At first, small things. Picking fewer fights with Grey, talking less than he used to, and picking low risk-reward jobs only as a means for money.

It had been small and all but unnoticed until things only went downhill from there. He started sitting by himself more often, finding secluded corners and moving whenever anybody tried speaking to him. Not even Happy could talk to him without being ignored. It was as if it wasn't even Natsu anymore, just a machine masquerading as the Dragon Slayer.

Natsu woke with a start from a particularly vivid nightmare, his shirtless body coated in a fine layer of sweat. _Damn it, not another one._ This made his…he had to check. Ah, twenty third time he'd had the same exact nightmare. No light found its' way into his small home, and after pulling the curtains back, dull light filtered in through the heavy downpour. _Oh, great. More rain._ Perfect weather if you were Juvia, but as for the Fire Dragon Slayer, he could think of way more weather options that would make him happier.

If he'd actually been in the right frame of mind for that. However, he wasn't, and after pulling on his shorts, vest, and scarf, he steeled himself for the coming day, Happy already flapping by his shoulder.

"Good morning sir! Did you sleep well?" The blue cat never failed to have a positive attitude, though Natsu's flying friend could tell that he couldn't have been further from the truth.

Even so, Natsu plastered a fake smile onto his features, hoping it bought a little time to avoid further suspicion. "I slept like a log, Happy. Thanks for asking, buddy." He reached up and gently scratched the cat on the head, pulling the door open and stepping into the heavy rain. It felt good on Natsu's skin, and despite his inherent fire, enjoyed the cool air for once. He wanted to stand like this forever, but he knew he needed to get down to Fairy Tail and find a job to earn himself another months' rent. Easier said than done, as a lot of jobs required teams and teamwork, and that was the last thing he wanted right now.

Lacking much choice in the matter, Natsu took his time in picking through downtown, avoiding the curious glances of passers-by.

"Isn't that Natsu? He looks ill."

"What's up with Natsu? I've never seen him looking so down."

Pfft, right. As if they could understand. It was a joke to think otherwise.

Dragneels' silent, rain soaked musings came to an end as he found himself at the doors of Fairy Tail – he was coming to despise the cheery atmosphere emanating from the warmly lit guild hall. Despite his growing discomfort, Natsu pushed through, only to be greeted by sounds he had no desire to hear.

"Hey, Natsu! How ya doing buddy?"

"Natsu, where've ya been? It's boring without you!"

"Hey moron, what's got you?"

Gajeel, who took his pink haired buddy in a friendly headlock, one which Natsu made no effort to get out of like he usually did. "Hey, idiot. I'm talking to you." Silence; Natsu didn't say a word, only waited for Gajeels' grip to loosen in confusion. Of course, it did, and on walked Natsu, leaving a concerned looking Iron Dragonslayer at the door.

He went up to the jobs' board, thumbing along the available jobs as he felt the familiar icy touch of a certain ice mage. "Yo, Natsu. Erza's already got a job lined up for us. Says we're leaving in a few, and you know how she is." The casual tone in the ice mages' voice sounded like reprehension and disgust, so Natsu didn't do a favor and turn around to face him. Instead, he pulled a low paying job from the board and pushed past Grey, his voice empty and hollow, scaring nearly everybody within earshot. "No thanks. I've got my own job to work on." He flapped the paper loosely to indicate this, but Grey reached out and grabbed Natsus' arm.

"Natsu, come on. It'll be fun. Just like when we used to go out every day. You, me, Erza, Lu-"

"I said I'm good," flexing his arm out of the cold grasp. "You three go do your job."

"Natsu, you're not listening." Grey was trying to be careful as he'd seen this type of behavior before. "Erza wasn't asking, she basically commanded the three of us to go with her. Plus, from what I hear, it's S-Ranked."

That alone gave Natsu reason to paused mid-step, but he quickly regained his composure. The old Natsu would have jumped at the chance to go on an S-Rank, but as he was now, he'd only be useless to the dynamic. He'd since decided it was best to avoid his three friends and the missions they used to go on – nobody needed to know what was going on with himself right now, least of all the three most important people in his life.

But by that token, why hadn't he told them? Admitted to them that he was in a dark, scary place, all by himself? Felt like he was drowning while everybody around him was breathing? So why. Why couldn't he just tell them?

He wanted to, _needed_ to, but couldn't. He was far too afraid of what they would think of him in the end.

 _"Natsu, are you kidding me, that's such BS. Stop making things up for attention, whiny baby._

" _Natsu, no warrior is ever allowed to feel that way. Knock it off or I'll recommend to Gramps that you should be thrown out of Fairy Tail."_

" _The great Natsu Dragneel, fighting demons no one can see? That's hilarious. Don't make me laugh."_

"Natsu. Natsu!"

"Huh..oh." He'd been caught in a daydream by none other than Erza, who stood imposing with her hands placed firmly on her hips.

"Grey tells me you're refusing to accept this mission. Is that correct?"

She took his silence as a confirmation.

"Very well, we shall see you when we return." No response from the pink headed Dragon Slayer, who only simply nodded. Such off behavior for himself, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by…well, everyone. It was so strange to see Natsu like this, and yet, nobody could understand what exactly 'it' was.

Even so, Lucy, Erza and Grey, for the first time in over a year, departed without him, and Natsu only watched as they left, clutching the paper tightly in his fist, tears threatening to spill over. But before they could, Nastu cast his gaze downwards and walked back into the rain, his face a hollow mask of pain and loneliness.

At least, in the rain, nobody would see him cry.

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 **I honestly have no idea how long this will go on for; it could be three chapters or it could be fifteen. I really don't know, but I just want to see where it goes. Hope you enjoyed chapter one of A Falling Dragon. More to come soon, I promise.**


	2. Dark Places

**This has to be a record? Two chapters in two days? Preposterous. I didn't even move this fast on my Saints Row fic (shameless self plug ftw.) Still, I had the idea in my head, so might as well get it out now, right? Be warned, this fic is heavy and depressing and will remain so throughout, and I urge you to read with caution.**

 **Anyway, welcome to chapter 2 of A Falling Dragon!**

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Natsu's job of choice was simple shopkeeping – even he in his depressed state couldn't mess that up. It was working for Ayumu, a younger woman who ran a flower shop in the heart of the city. Flowers had always secretly been a passion for the young Dragonslayer, and as Happy greeted customers, Natsu couldn't help but feel even more alone. Of course, it being near Valentines' day didn't help at all, what with all the young men and women entering to find the perfect bouquet for their better half, but Natsu still helped.

A better part of his day was helping the guys find just the right arrangement of roses to sweep their girls (or boys; Natsu didn't judge) off of their feet. It was in his nature to help others, to make them feel happy in any way they could. After all, he knew what it was like to be alone and unhappy, and he had every desire to prevent that in any way he could manage. If that meant working in a flower shop, then so be it.

"All right, you have a good day now! And don't forget, put those in water as soon as you get home. Wouldn't want to upset your lady, now would we?" The Dragon slayer was waving his goodbyes to the last customer of the day, a young lad, no older than sixteen. So innocent and naïve, Natsu wished he could be like that once again. Without a care in the world, free to be relaxed and at ease.

Heh, what a joke. There was no way he would ever be happy again, and speaking of happy, the flying blue cat bounced into Natsu's frame of view, the magical beast always with a smile on his face. "Hello, sir! A successful day, wouldn't you agree?"

Sighing, he rested his elbows on the wooden counter, watching the sun wink over the horizon. While it had been a productive day, he couldn't help but feel as though he'd been useless, acting only as a temporary figurehead while Ayumu was working the garden in the back. Even so, he forced a smile onto his tired face, faking agreement. "Hell yeah it was. I'm glad I took this job. Gave me a chance to see people and do some good."

"But you always do good for people, Natsu. It's why people like you so much, especially your friends." The blue cat sprouted his wings and hovered by the pink hair, coming to rest atop his friend. The little cat couldn't help but worry about the person he'd known since hatching, but still. Was this really Natsu?

"Erza, Gray, and Lucy. Together the four of you have done so much good together. That time you stopped Deliora with Gray. Or you helping Erza with the false moon." He was trying to cheer his buddy up, but he could tell his words only negatively affected the mages' mood. "Natsu…"

He wasn't listening. He'd tuned out the moment Happy had mentioned Lucy.

Why, why did he have to love her so much? It didn't make sense why he cared so deeply for the Celestial type wizard when all they'd done was butt heads for the past year. It bugged him that every time he saw her, his heart would accelerate, his mind going blank. He needed to get out of wherever she was, and quickly before she noticed. He didn't want her knowing his feelings about her, because if she did, well, he could imagine the results.

 _"Natsu, stop joking. That's not even funny, you're practically a kid no matter how much you've done. Seriously, I don't want to see your stupid face ever again."_

The mental image dissipated when Ayumu approached from behind and placed a hand atop his head.

"Everything okay, Natsu?"

The short brunette always had a soft spot for Natsu, and it showed. However, she could tell something was off about her friend, but he only waved it off.

"Huh? Oh, everything's fine. Just tired, is all. Taking a break from all that fighting sure gives me time to think." He forced yet another smile, easily seen through by the florist.

"You sure about that, Natsu? Seems like more than fatigue to me."

He hated the look of pity that flashed across her face as she said that, so he made up an excuse to leave early – ignoring her statement entirely. "Well, looks like things are all done here. I'll be heading home now. See you tomorrow, Ayumu!"

He easily shed the dirt covered apron before hanging it on a hook, and after Happy landed atop his head once more, Natsu head out, letting the bullshit smile drop.

 _"Fuck. This. Fuck everything. Why…why do I have to be forced to suffer when everyone around me just looks so fucking happy?!"_ They had no right to be happy when he was hurting so deeply, his silent walk taking him past the park where children laughed gleefully and parents cautioned their kids to be careful.

Even so, every now and again he would hear a kid cry and their parents rush to their side, offering aid in whatever way they knew how. Why couldn't anyone do that for him? He'd never known a parent, and Igneel had left when Natsu was only seven, leaving the child to fend for himself.

Despite that, Natsu had never known comfort, never known the embrace of another. Sure, he had Erza and Gray to talk to, but ever since he'd started feeling like this, he made it a point to ignore him too. Hell, he'd started ignoring everybody when he was at the guild hall. The only person who could still get more than a sentence out of him was Mira, and after his short walk, Natsu found himself back at his usual bar stool, Mira giving him a concerned, almost motherly look.

"Hey, Natsu. How'd the job go?" She posed a casual question, careful to word it properly and gauge his mood.

"Went fine, Mira. Spent it helping people get ready for Valentines day." He gestured to a bottle of sassafras beer, and after popping the top, handed it to him.

"I take it went well, then?"

"I guess." A short sentence followed by a shrug, so Mira chose her next words carefully.

"And what about you, Natsu? Anybody special in your life?" She noticed a break in his indifferent mask and made the conclusion. He was like this over a girl…but who? And why was it so serious for him? He'd never made indication he cared about girls in that way, so why now?

"No. No one." His response was dull and flat, hiding any inflection or emotion that sought to break free.

"Oh come on, Natsu," Mira chided playfully. "You can tell me. It'll be our little secret." She posed, holding a finger to her lips and winking at him. Natsu, however, was in no mood for her harmless flirtations, as he knew it was only to get him to talk and, she hoped, reveal more about what was going on.

"No. There isn't anyone." The same response in the same, empty tone. It was no different from this morning, and while she couldn't deny she was concerned, she left it alone, going back to her glass cleaning duties while he sat silently.

It wasn't until he heard 'Erza's back' that he responded, but not in the way he normally would. Had this been a few months ago, Natsu would have jumped from his chair to greet his friends, and, of course, challenge Erza to yet another fight. This time, he didn't. Didn't move from his stool, nor did he make any indication that he'd heard such a proclamation.

His only movements were to shift when he heard the murmuring behind him, commenting on Natsu himself.

"He hasn't moved. You think he heard?"

"What's up with him? Tell him that a few months back and he'd be out the door before we could blink."

"Is everything okay with him? Someone go talk to him."

No one did, but as soon as he heard the doors push open and people greet the trio of mages, Natsu finally moved to leave. He had to pass the returning heroes, had to ignore whatever they were saying to him – especially Lucy.

It was she who tried talking to him first as he approached. "Hey Nat-" He had roughly shoved past her, sending her bumping into Erza, who caught her easily even with her eyes on Natsu's back. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion as well as confusion. Nothing seemed right about him as he was now, so after turning back to her friends, formulated a little plan.

Natsu, meanwhile, found his way back home while Happy stayed behind at the guild to attempt fielding questions about Natsu. Considering Happy knew very little about what was going on, he was just in the dark as the rest were, left to wonder why Natsu was acting so strange.

If they only knew.

If they only knew his head was a mess, a pile up of thoughts and emotions. What would they say? Frankly, he didn't want to think about it.

Even so, after arriving home, he pulled the curtains on his one window and threw himself into darkness until lighting the oil lamp on his desk. Once he had some light, he sat down and yanked open a drawer – it was full of folded pieces of paper, and Natsu picked up a few at random.

Unfolding the first one and smoothing it out, he read silently to himself. " _Coward."_ He opened the second. _"Loser."_ Then the third. _"Miserable waste of space."_ The drawer was full of written down negative thoughts like these, but he knew, at the bottom, lay his most dangerous though of all.

He refused to acknowledge that it even existed, that the red ink had only been a dream. It had remained untouched since its' entrance from his mind to the real world, and for good reason.

Its contents were simple, one word really.

" _Suicide."_

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 **Jeez, at this rate, you'll see chapter three by the 20th. While I hope I can keep this rate up, it's probably not likely. Assume a new chapter will arrive every two or three days as opposed to one. My wrists are staring to hurt DX. I really hope you enjoyed this chapter, and at risk of sounding like a broken record, please please please know that if you're suffering like Natsu, do not forget that I care about you, even if you think no one else does. And if a Fairy Tail fan who lives hundreds of miles from you can care, then you bet your ass someone close to you does, too.  
** _  
_


	3. Take Me Home

**You bastards can't enough, can ya? Well, anyway, I should probably make it clear that this isn't a NaLu fic exclusively (I ship Natsu x Erza 20x harder than I do NaLu). This isn't full romance, either, as a large focus will be on Natsu's struggles with the beast known as depression and his friends' fight to understand it.**

 **Something else before I forget, that I can't stress enough.**

 _ **Be careful when reading this fic.**_ **There are seriously heavy themes here, ranging from suicidal thoughts to self-harm.**

 **And on that rather sad note, welcome to the third chapter of A Falling Dragon.**

* * *

 _An open field with a lone tree standing guard over its' nothingness. From the tree hung a simple rope, but as he watched, the rope twisted and writhed like a snake until it formed a noose, beckoning him with its' silent yet deafening voice. 'Come, Natsu. Only I will ever understand you.'_

 _Footfalls as he obeyed, soft grass crunching under his toes. Wherever he stepped lay dead grass, and by the time he reached his new friend, his path was gone, to be forgotten forever._

 _Just like Natsu wanted to be._

Reaching up, the Dragon slayer slipped the warm embrace over his neck, using the chair that had appeared only for this one purpose. From his viewpoint, he wasn't surprised to see that all of Fairy Tail had showed up to watch, mocking him like always.

' _Fucking do it. You're wasting everyone's time like always, you asshole.'_

' _He's too much of a pussy to do it.'_

' _Of course, making shit up for attention again.'_

' _Like he has the balls. No fuckin' way.'_

 _Wouldn't they be surprised as he tipped the chair away and let the warm arms of death settle around his carotid artery, lulling him into a soft and comfortable eternal sleep._

With a start and held back scream, Natsu Dragneel woke from the twenty fourth occurrence of this nightmare, and he was sure to write it down alongside the others. This sucked immensely, but over the past two months, he'd come to accept that he'd be suffering with this until he died – whenever that was.

Morbid thoughts pushed aside, Natsu kicked off his basic covers – a thin sheet and fabric blanket. This had always been enough for the fire breathing wizard, with his internal flame always keeping him toasty even in the coldest nights. Even he knew, as he went into the kitchen for a late-night snack, that shaking hands couldn't mean anything good.

Attempting to ignore the instability of his hands only led to increased shaking, but he still tried to focus on his prize – a dinner burrito he'd brought home one night from a restaurant not too far from where he lived. The foreign cuisine always held the right amount of spice for Natsu – tonight was no different as he sat down to read and eat simultaneously.

One of his favorite books, which he never let collect dust, was simply entitled 'Dream,' by an unnamed author. It was a work of fiction, and it never failed to capture the young mans' imagination as his eyes scanned page after page of adventure. This book had been part of the reason Natsu had always been so adventurous and lively – he had wanted to be so much like the protagonist.

Smart, brave, and caring. All things he desperately strived to be, and yet, in the end, only hurting those close to him.

Regardless, Natsu read on, each page becoming more and more difficult to read as tears started to blur his vision, the droplets trickling off of his chin and to the paper below. The rate steadily increased until Natsu simply gave up and pushed the book aside, using the vacant space to rest his arms and head. He would stay like this until the sun peeked through the gap in his curtains, Happy yawning and stretching in his custom-made bet feet from Natsu's. The blue cat, once awake, eagerly flopped out of bed and took flight, hovering by Natsu's head by default.

If Natsu saw Happy, he made no indication otherwise, opting to stare blankly at the wall with eyes so empty Happy wondered if Natsu even existed anymore.

'Well that's a silly thought. Of course Natsu exists; he's right in front of me. Maybe he's just tired!'

Always optimistic, Happy started his day with a normal bright and chipper attitude. "Good morning sir! Sleep well, I take it?"

Natsu barely registered the words, but got the gist as he sat upright and stretched. "Huh? Oh, yeah. Slept great, Happy. Thanks."

There it was again. That fake smile anybody who knew Natsu could see through so easily. And yet nobody had said a thing on it, not even happy. That begged the question: why? Why had not a soul asked the always-happy, always-energetic Dragon slayer if everything was all right?

Maybe they assumed somebody else would ask. Or maybe they just didn't care enough? Who knew, because Happy certainly didn't.

Happy's thoughts were broken apart by the door suddenly opening, and he was surprised to see Natsu was leaving for the day, likely heading to the guild hall for another underpaying, underwhelming job.

"Have a good day, Sir! I'll be staying home to keep an eye on things like usual!" Happy waved cheerily, but as soon as the door closed, his face turned serious as he thought back to yesterday.

" _Happy!" The cat jumped in mid-air, if that was possible. Turning, he found Erza a bit too close for comfort, and after backing up, found she was flanked by Gray and Lucy._

" _Ye-yes ma'am?"_

" _Do you know what's going on with Natsu? He refuses to talk to anyone but Mira, actively ignores the rest of his team, and is choosing jobs that are obviously way below his skill level." Feeling interrogated, the magical blue cat managed to sigh and shake his head in defeat._

" _No, I don't. Sir won't even talk to me anymore. When he does, it's only two or three words."_

 _This revelation gave Erza pause as she placed a thumb to her chin, Gray and Lucy reflecting how Happy felt; confused and disappointed that their best friend couldn't confide in them. "Very well," Erza stated after a few more moments of silence. "Tomorrow, then, you will let us into Natsu's home after he leaves for the day. We will determine what job he has chosen by eight am, so be prepared at 9 am sharp. Understood?"_

 _Somewhat scared but mostly confused, Happy nodded. "Yes sir!"_

He was unsure what exactly it was they planned to do, but as planned, Happy heard the knock on the door, and after flipping the latch, in came Erza, Gray, and Lucy, all of them matching Happys' serious look.

After a moment or so in the doorway, Lucy spoke first. "Um…Erza? What exactly is it we're looking for?"

The scarlet haired sword wielder answered tersely. "Anything that could tell us what's going on with Natsu." After her command, she immediately set about the house, Gray and Lucy following suit.

Starting with the desk, Lucy noticed that there was a book still on it, its pages still open to the one he'd left last night. She couldn't tell why it looked like it was wet but dried, her fingers idly flipping through pages one by one.

Far as she could surmise, it was about a suave and charming adventurer, one who never paled in danger and always looked for a fight. It seemed that the nameless adventurer never had a bad day, either, even when things looks outright bleak for him. He always pulled through in the end, just like…Natsu.

Was this person the one he'd modeled his personality on? Always smiling, funny (at times), cared about everyone he came across. Yes, that was definitely Natsu. At least…it had been.

Giving up her skim reading of the book, she went to check on Gray's progress, whom, like her, had gotten distracted by something of Natsu's. It was a single blue bead looped on a simple leather lace, and Gray was holding it as though it might explode in his palms

Confused, Lucy tapped him on the shoulder. "Gray? What is that?"

He turned to the blonde, sitting cross legged on the floor. "I gave this to Natsu a few years after we met. It was the first time he beat me in a fight, so I gave him this as a trophy of sorts. All he did was throw it out, but I guess…I guess he went back for it after I left. Why did he keep it, is what I'm wondering."

She sat silently with him as he reminisced until Erza's commanding voice broke through the companionable silence. "You two need to come see this. Now." The sense of urgency in her voice, usually reserved for battle, is what made them move fast.

They turned the corner to find Erza standing in front of a drawer – the desk Lucy had investigated earlier. The drawer appeared to be overflowing with folded up pieces of paper, and Erza had one of these in her hands, fingers gripped tightly on the parchment.

Speaking up for both of them, Gray asked. "What is it, Erza? What does it say?"

Her response was to shake her head and point to the pile, grip still iron on the claimed paper.

Curious, Gray leaned in to choose one at random and open it up, and after a solid minute of silence, Lucy found one too.

She wished she hadn't.

The paper she picked, after opening it, was only a few words long, but she would probably never forget what the words were.

'Miserable, pathetic, excuse of a mage.'

Gray's was no better; 'waste of space.'

Erza's choice, however, was by far the worst of the three. 'Maybe I should just end it.'

It was this one she turned to show the others, her eyes, against their will, starting to water. He was thinking like this and yet confiding in no one? Even worse, her tears reflected disappointment in herself and her friends. They'd seen Natsu like this for so long and not once had they recognized the truth.

Lucy, on the other hand, refused to believe. "Th…there's no way that Natsu wrote these. I mean…look at him. He's the happiest guy in Fairy Tail." She forced a smile for the others who were present, but it was Gray who shot her down.

"Natsu wrote these, Lucy. This is his handwriting. I guess the only question is…why didn't we see it sooner?"

"Because you were never meant to." All four jumped as they heard his voice at the door nobody had heard open.

"Natsu! Why didn't you-!" Lucy started, but didn't get a chance to finish as the Fire Dragon slayer took off at top speed, leaving Erza to issue sudden commands. "Find him, and make sure he's safe," she ordered, already striding towards the door. "If you find him, be very, very careful. We don't know what he'll do right now! Go!"

In unison, Gray, Happy, and Lucy answered. "Yes ma'am!"

As they rushed off in the four cardinal directions, Erza's mind was buzzing the most.

' _Please don't do anything stupid, Natsu…"_

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 **This is by far the fastest I've gotten the next chapter of any of my fics published. Guess you guys like this, eh?**

 **Chapter four out by 7/22. See ya then, ya crazy bastards.**


	4. I'll Be There

**Supply and demand, yadda yadda. A full day ahead of schedule because you guys seem to like this. On a side note, however. I'm not writing this for you or the Fairy Tail community. The reason I write fan fiction is because I want to explore, in depth, the sides of games and anime we don't get to see. Call it self-satisfaction (insert joke about masturbation here), but I like seeing something concrete instead of keeping the idea or concept in my head, left to gather proverbial dust. On that affect, if you don't like the story or my ships, frankly, you can suck it.**

 **Flame on, bitches.**

* * *

He didn't have a destination in mind; he just wanted to run, to escape the looks he'd seen on their faces. It was looks like those he'd desperately wanted to avoid; the looks of sadness and pity on faces belonging to those important to him.

He'd never wanted them to find out what was going on inside his head; he'd promised himself he would keep that part of his personality locked away deep within his psyche.

Obviously, that had failed, what with all of Fairy Tail taking notice of his more-than-strange behavior. But especially Erza, Lucy, and Gray. He never wanted them to find out, as they were the most important people in his life, and he never wanted to hurt or burden them with his own problems.

But they had. They'd found out. And now that they had…he didn't know what to do. He sure as hell couldn't confront them, not after they'd discovered his secret. What was he supposed to say after all that? 'Sorry?' As if that would actually work. Still, he wished he could have just _told_ them when he had started feeling like this, some months ago following the Laxus incident.

 _Wrapped in bandages alongside Gajeel, Natsu steamed. He'd fought one of the most powerful wizards in the guild to a draw, saved countless lives (with the help of some friends,) and yet…not one word of thanks. Not a pat on the back, a congratulatory high five, or even a 'thank you.' The stupid guild had just gone on with their day, preparing for the parade as though nothing had happened._

And that pissed him off. It made him feel underappreciated, taken for granted, even. It was as if everybody just _expected_ him to take care of their messes, to solve the guilds' big problems as though he was some sort of ex-machina for the guild to use whenever they felt like it.

Additionally, it had been that day when he felt the first spike of ice settle in his heart – a lance of sadness that found home in his chest and refused to be evicted. Of course, that seed only grew the more time he spent alone, alone with his own thoughts. He would often find time in the library to be alone with nothing but books, thinking about his miserable excuse for a life.

He could barely handle himself in a fight, winning a majority on sheer luck alone.

He had no family in his life – his friends didn't count in his heart.

He was alone despite being surrounded by people he once counted as friends, but now only saw them as grey faces – simple slates with whatever Natsu was feeling chiseled into them – 'Weak.' 'Worthless.' 'Pathetic.' The list went on, it grew and grew until that's all Natsu could really see; his reflected failures , the total and unyielding absoluteness he'd come to describe as hopelessness.

He didn't know if this was some sort of sick joke being played on him by Kami or whatever fucked up deity did this for fun, but one thing was for sure – he wanted it to stop. He wanted to stop seeing those faces, the pity flickering behind the smile. He wanted to stop feeling broken, to stop feeling useless as a person. He wanted his mind to go back to normal; he wanted to be happy as he knew he could be – but this…this thing, it refused to allow it. It instead relegated him to the pit of loss and despair, laughing in his face as he made any effort to climb free, only making the pit deeper and deeper.

It felt like each time this happened, the light got further and further away.

Question is…what would happen when he could no longer see that light?

The foursome consisting of Gray, Lucy, Erza, and Happy, meanwhile, were still desperately searching for their hurting friend. They wanted to reach him before he did something irrational, and it was that fear that drove their feet forward, checking down every possible alleyway, street, and shop. It wasn't until they coincidentally met up at the town center, their eyes still searching around them for any sign of their friend the Salamander.

"Lucy, Gray…don't tell me you checked everywhere?" Erza couldn't hide the desperation in her voice, but Gray only nodded.

"I checked everywhere. The guild hall, every street I could, even the church where he fought Laxus. Nothing."

Turning her eyes to Lucy, the blonde nodded as well, sadness evident in her voice. "I…I don't know where he could have gone is so little time. It's…it's almost like he disappeared."

Understandably irked, Erza issued new orders. "Gray, check as far as you can in the forest. Lucy, return to Natsu's home in case he decides to show up there. Happy, you go with her."

Gray spoke up. "And what about you, Erza?"

There was a seriousness in her voice that made those present recognize she wasn't to be disobeyed. "I'll keep looking in the city. If you find him, _be very careful_ with your words. You don't want to set him off again."

Nodding their assent, the three took off for their assigned positions, leaving Erza to wonder and worry where her friend was. "…Oh, please be safe, Natsu."

* * *

His feet carried him to a part of town he didn't recognize, and he figured he could be somewhat alone while he was here. It would give him time to think, observe, and wonder…

A church. An open spire, too. Good a place as any to have some time alone, and if he so decided…throw himself off of it. He knew that he wouldn't be able to survive the sixty foot plunge from the top, and if he died, he wanted it to be at his own hand, under his control.

A running start and a few hops later, Natsu took his rest against one of the barriers, securely under the canopy. He slid down and seated himself on the cool concrete, one leg extended and the other tucked up, his arm resting on the propped one. Like this, he felt comfortable and was by himself, so it just gave him time to think. A dangerous thing for one as depressed as Natsu, and yet…

The dark was comforting; the loneliness warm. So opposite how he'd once felt, all Natsu wanted was to find comfort, and with the ground calling his name, he took his chance.

Standing up from the dirt covered floor, he placed one foot on the simple barrier, and after taking a final look at the world he'd once loved, pushed off.

* * *

"NATSU! NATSU!"

Erza…that was Erza's voice. What was she doing, yelling his name as though he was dying? All he was doing was taking an early exit; he didn't think it a big deal. After all, he…he just wanted everything to stop.

Erza, on the other hand, wouldn't let that happen.

After giving her orders, she'd taken off for the less-explored side of the city, in the small hope that he'd gone there. As she arrived, however, she watched as Natsu pushed off of a rail and vaulted his body over and, let himself fall numbly, as though he didn't care.

Acting quickly, Erza made use of her enhanced speed and took off like a rocket to his falling body, timing her jump just so she collided with him midair. She tucked her arms under his legs and back, so that they came crashing to the ground together, both not much worse for wear.

Physically, that is.

Looking up at his savior, he was surprised to see Erza's eyes filled with tears that were starting to spill over and onto her cheeks. Words failed them both as Natsu's decisions came careening back to him, and for the first time in three years, he cried.

Tears started falling from his own face as he pulled himself upright, only to embrace his friend in a tight hug, hoping that he could convey everything he'd failed to thus far.

Her response was to tighten her embrace as he sobbed and her own tears dripped, quietly blaming, and vowing to herself that she'd never let him suffer like this again – no matter what that entailed.

Together, they sat in the fading daylight, in the very same spot they'd landed, Erza's grip still comfortingly tight around her friend and ally, her own words barely coming through.

"N…Natsu…please don't…don't leave me ever again…"

* * *

 **Hey, so how was that? Hints of Natsu x Erza, nudgenudge winkwink. Trying to decide what next chapters' pairing should be: NaLu or NErza? So, to hell with it. You can guys can decide – makes my job a bit easier. "Winning" pair will get the naughty naughty scene I mentioned previously, as well as become the "main non-main" romantic pairing for the rest of the fanfic.**

 **Chapter five out by 7/23.**


	5. Gravity

**Fine, you want another chapter?! Here, take it, see if I care!**

 **Oh look another day, another chapter. Can't believe you guys are just reading it as fast as I can write it, like...damn. Get a life you weirdos.**

 **Story related: it's NaLu because fuck you NaZa fans. Decided this morning I wanted to keep it _loosely_ tied to the canon story, so there. Also, relationships and fluffy stuff ahead because fuck you, that's why.**

 **Enjoy, you bastards.  
**

* * *

It had been a long day for all of those involved, and with Erza absolutely refusing to let go of Natsu's hand as they walked back home, he couldn't help but feel…happier than he was when the day started. Granted, it was a small, marginal happiness, but a start all the same. Like this, he felt that there was a chance he could get back on track, and maybe, just maybe, he could get the help he needed.

However, he'd have to get by his other friends, who, to his surprise, were waiting out by his apartment as the two returned. Lucy was pacing nervously back and forth while Gray did his best to reassure her that Erza would find him. His third attempt at calming her down was interrupted by the blonde stopping in place, her eyes cast down the street.

Curious, Gray followed her gaze, and was….stunned was the wrong word. He was happy to see Natsu returned safely, but from the state he'd seen his friend in, it almost felt inappropriate to be elated that his friend had been saved. By none other than Erza, too, but…Gray finally had an inkling on what was rushing through his friends head.

And that scared him; it upset him to no end, but he didn't want that to show.

Lucy, on the other hand, held no such reservations.

Upon seeing Natsu, she all but sprinted towards the two, Erza dropping his hand so that the blonde could throw her arms around his back and press her face into his chest, tears evident on her face.

While such a thing would normally have made him blush fiercely, this time, Natsu was calm, letting the celestial wizard cry quietly against his skin. He only listened as she went on and on about how sorry she was, only for Natsu to finally answer her hug, his strong arms seeking their way around her shoulders.

It gave her pause and a red face as she felt his secure grip around her slender shoulders, even more so to have him lean down and whisper into her ear.

"I'm sorry, Lucy."

She was quick to pull up, but not out of their hug. "Wh…why are you apologizing, Natsu? We're the ones who…who should have said something when…" Eyes watering up again, she was unable to finish as he took her back against his chest. He decided he liked how she felt there, and despite this contact, found himself at ease.

Was this what love meant? Not nervous butterflies, nor awkward conversation or shifted eyes? Could it be that she actually had a calming effect on him?

Either way, he now knew that he _needed_ to be with her, lest he become depressed to a severity like this again. On that matter, however, Erza was speaking to Gray on.

"Gray. We'll have to keep an eye on him. Just because we're in the clear this time doesn't mean he's back to 100%. There's always a chance that he can revert back to this state, and there's no telling what will happen if he does." She looked on as Lucy and Natsu embraced, the two of them looking as though they'd been designed for one another. It was cute to see them like that, to witness the first moment when a man and women fell in love.

Albeit it was grown from sadness and grief, the fact still remained that Natsu needed someone like Lucy in his life, and Erza wasn't one to get in the way of that.

Her silent musings were interrupted by the ice mage speaking up. "Agreed. But what do we want to do about tonight? I don't know about you, but I don't want to leave Natsu alone when he's like this."

He had a point, to which Erza called Lucy and Natsu over. When the two – Lucy holding onto his arm as if he were to vanish at any moment – approached, she presented a plan. "Now…we've all had one hell of a day. That said, I think it best if we three spend the next few days at Natsu's. That includes, but isn't limited to, sleeping over to assure that you can be safe."

This was directed at Natsu, who looked rather ashamed that he'd been the cause of all this, but nodded in agreement. He knew he would appreciate that his three friends would be able to keep a close eye on him regardless of the time of day – it would be nice to have the company he'd so desperately wanted but had never asked for.

After Lucy and Gray voiced their agreements, Erza took charge. "All right then. Gray, you get Natsu settled in while Lucy and I return to our homes for a few days' worth of clothes. When we return, you can go get your belongings. Sound good?"

The ice mage nodded and after putting an arm over Natsu's shoulder, gently led the depressed Salamander into the apartment, with Natsu giving the two girls a grateful look before the door closed.

Once the boys were in the house, the scarlet haired woman turned to her blonde companion, a deviously playful smile on her face. It was just disturbing enough for Lucy to take a step back and wonder if Erza was still totally sane after today. "A-are you okay, Erza?"

"Oh, I'm fine, _Lucy Dragneel."_

This proclamation made Lucy turn a red comparable to Erza's hair, her face rivaling Juvia's whenever in the presence of Gray. "Wh-wh-what are you saying that for?!"

The only response she got was a low laugh and still that devious smile as she started her walk home, Lucy following behind. "

You know very well, Lucy. You liiiike him." Cackling like a madwoman, Lucy had no choice but to ignore her friends teasing as they spilt paths in the middle of town, Lucy finding her way back home. Her face had remained the same shade of red since Erza's declaration, and one could practically see the steam coming off the top of her head.

She was so flustered, in fact, that she didn't even walk along the wall as normal, leading the boaters to question her if she was feeling okay.

That couldn't be further from the truth, and she somehow made it home without melting into a Lucy puddle along the way. However, once she arrived home, her freak out began, and no soft article was safe. Making an odd 'squeeing' sound, the blonde wizard tossed herself onto her bed, reaching for and tucking a pillow up to her chest.

'I know it's wrong to be excited, after all that's happened today…but I just can't help it! I get to spend a few days in Natsu's home, with him!' Biting into the pillow, her mood went somber as she recalled his face. 'But it's not about me. It's about helping Natsu get better, and I'm gonna be the best friend I can be!'

Inward psyche-up over, she set about gathering clothes for the next few days. Into her black suitcase went a white tshirt with a pink heart in the center, a long sleeve black tee with a white cat peeking in from the corner, and blue plain tank top. For bottoms, she opted to take one of her denim skirts, a pair of jean short shorts, and a pair of simple jeans.

Additionally, she packed a Fairy Tail themed bikini – the top featured a black Fairy Tail emblem on a white background. The bottoms were a plain white, but showcased a pair of loops on the side; these were purely ornamental.

What stumped her, was packing underwear. She wasn't sure what to bring, and she didn't know why she was having a hard time on deciding. It wasn't like anybody was going to see them, so why bother in turning it into a painful process? Nonsense aside, she eventually decided on three bras and pairs of underwear. The first set consisted of a mint green, demi bra that included little patterns of snowmen on the front, as well as a pair of black bikini cut panties.

The second and third sets were considerably more edgy, with the bras of both being strapless and the underwear…well, could be considered thongs. She had no idea why she was bringing them along, and as a result, felt incredibly nervous walking back to Natsu's apartment. Maybe…

A ridiculous idea, there was no way that was actually going to happen…right?

Regardless, she found Erza back in the center of town, and together they walked, with Lucy finally asking Erza what she meant by her earlier comment.

"Hey, Erza?"

"Hm?"

"What did you mean earlier when you called me Lucy Dragneel?"

A look of confusion quickly brushed Erza's features, but was gone just as fast.

"Isn't it obvious? You like him, Lucy. It isn't that hard to see."

"Oh." Her face had gone back to the red state from earlier. "Is it really…?"

Laughing, Erza gently touched a hand to her friends shoulder. "Yes, really. The question everybody's been asking is why you haven't told him."

Caught, and embarrassed, the celestial wizard tried to explain. "We-well, I've been meaning to-"

"Do us a favor and don't tell him today, all right?" The comment caught Lucy off guard, and it was her turn to look confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Natsu…he's been hurting for a while now, and if you confess your feelings any time soon, he'll just think it's out of pity no matter how sincere you make it sound."

After thinking a moment, Lucy nodded. "That makes sense, so I'll tell him when he's finally feeling better."

Smiling, Erza agreed. "Thank you."

"Of course, Erza."

Their conversation carried them to Natsu's home, where after announcing their presence, pushed inside the small space, finding Natsu asleep on his bed and Gray keeping a watchful eye over his sleeping friend. Looking to the ice mage for an explanation, Lucy raised an eyebrow.

"Don't look at me. We came in here and he just crashed. Bing bang boom, out. Didn't want to wake him, but now that you two are here, I'll be leaving to go get my stuff." He got up from the chair he'd claimed, and after gently closing the door behind him, left his friends to keep an eye on Natsu.

After analyzing the apartment, it became quickly apparent to them both that there was only enough room for two to sleep comfortably – one on the sofa and the other on the floor. Meaning one would need to share a bed with the Dragonslayer. And judging from the look playing in Erza's eye, that someone would be Lucy.

At this point, Lucy knew it would be pointless to argue, so after silently accepting her fate, turned red as a tomato.

This…would be interesting.

* * *

 **There, happy? Enjoy it or not, I don't give a fuck; I like writing this way too much to care what you think.  
**

 **Chapter 6 out by 7/24. See ya then, ya crazy bastards.**


	6. Black Dahlia

**I lied about the publish date, obviously. #sorrynotsorry**

 **Rest of the fic will be NaLu. 'Nuff said.**

 **Enjoy, ya bastards.**

* * *

While Erza bustled about in the kitchen, Lucy occupied the nearby chair to keep her eye on the sleeping Natsu. She'd taken the seat moments after Gray had left, and since his house was a good walk from here, had spent the last fifteen minutes just watching the pink haired teen sleep peacefully.

A tap on the shoulder broke her from her mesmerized state, turning in the chair to find Erza smiling, but not in the way she had been on the walk here. It was a more motherly smile, her gaze warm and comforting as she broke the comfortable silence.

"He looks so peaceful; I just wish we'd figured this out sooner." Sighing, Erza started to turn back into the kitchen, only stopped by Lucy's hand on her wrist.

"Erza…why didn't he tell us? He didn't say anything. It was like he didn't want us to know."

Turning back around, the sword wielder found the sofa near opposite Lucy. She had to explain in the simplest terms possible as to avoid confusing the girl further…but how?

Ah, there it was.

"See, whenever someone gets like Natsu, they believe that they're really alone. They could have friends everywhere, but for them…it's just blank. Yet despite the fact that they do have friends, they don't wish to be a burden on those they consider special to them."

Confused, but still somewhat understanding, the girl nodded. "I sorta understand…but I don't see how his telling us would be a burden."

Oh, here we go. "That's partly society's fault. Mental illness is frowned upon, and to be quite frank, I used to think it as a sign of weakness. It wasn't until Gray convinced me otherwise that I thought things like depression were just made up; fake." She now looked to be on the verge of tears herself, but quickly composed her face as she went on.

"Natsu sees it as his own problem and nobody elses. He wanted to fight it on his own, but sometimes…it's just too strong." Her gaze went back to her sleeping friend, then flicked onto the blonde. "Lucy, right now, you're the best thing for him. Love is a very powerful drug."

Wa…was she implying that Natsu…?

"Even if that love may be one sided, having people around that care for him can only improve how he-"

A screaming kettle interrupted her thought, and she stole into the kitchen to take care of it.

While Erza was doing that, Lucy focused back on Natsu, his chest rising and falling steadily as he snoozed, looking so much like a child despite his age. It was cute, but still…the problem at hand nagged away at her conscience, and the girl wondered what she could do to help.

An idea did come to her not too much longer, and careful to make sure that Erza was still busy, slipped her hand into Natsu's loose fingers, suppressing a blush as she felt them tighten ever so minutely. It was probably involuntary, but the idea still remained. This was the closest had ever gotten to holding hands, but alas, Gray's arrival broke her hand free. She found herself idly wondering why he looked soaked.

"Raining like crazy out there. Man, when is this rain ever gonna let up?" Shrugging and shaking his coat off onto the hook, his nose caught scent of something rather delicious wafting from the kitchen, a smell that had previously gone unnoticed by Lucy. It smelled like apples, and whatever it turned out to be, they were sure to enjoy it.

Upon hearing Gray's arrival, Erza strode in from the kitchen, her casual armor replaced by a rather skimpy bathing suit covered by an apron. Her red hair was kept in a high pony tail, and after Gray managed to salvage his jaw from the floor, she smirked. "What's the matter, Gray? Never seen a lady in an apron before?"

Somewhat at a loss for words, Gray did managed to string a sentence – albeit with minor coherence. "I uh…I just….never seen you in an apron...just…" More than a smirk, Erza laughed this time, turning to Lucy.

"Lucy, will you wake Natsu up? I managed to make apple crisp from what I could find in this kitchen – I figured we could enjoy that while we played cards. Besides, with this rain, I'd prefer to stay in." She turned back into the kitchen, and as she did, Gray lost his jaw again – it _really_ was a skimpy bathing suit, leaving very little to the imagination.

Lucy only laughed softly at his reaction, her attention back on Natsu as she gently, yet boldly, rubbed his shoulder, coaxing the Dragon slayer awake. It didn't last long, however, as all he did was mutter 'five more minutes' before rolling over and falling back asleep. His five minutes, though, would have to wait until this evening, given that Lucy prodded him awake this time with the promise of food.

' _Jeez, if I knew he was this into food, I could have bribed him way earlier.'_ It was all the teen girl could manage to think of as Natsu stretched and sat upright, taking in the faces around him. It appeared as though he was confused as to why his friends were in his house, but as alertness returned, so did his recall.

"Oh." He sounded so dejected, all Lucy wanted to do was put her arms back around him and not let go, but instead settled for speaking gently.

"Hey, Natsu. Erza's made something called apple crisp, and we can play cards as we enjoy it. Sound good?"

To see his eyes light up like that, even for a brief second, gave Lucy hope. It felt so verifying to know that Natsu _could_ be pulled from his depressed and beaten down state, and she promised herself that she would do everything she could to see that happen – no matter what it cost physically or mentally. She wanted to help him through this, and was suddenly surprised to feel herself being pulled up into a hug – Natsu was thanking her once again, his voice uneven.

"Lucy…I'm…I'm so…"

"Shh, you don't have to be," answered Lucy, her soft arms seeking comfort around his neck. "Erza told me enough, so I know that you're hurting…"

Gentle shaking made her pull back a moment, surprised to see Natsu crying silently, his gratefulness, not sadness, driving these quiet tears. All she did upon seeing this was smile warmly, her arms not leaving his touch. She felt comfortable here, and as far as Natsu was concerned, immensely enjoyed the contact.

However, with Erza calling their names, the two had to separate, much to both of their displeasure. It didn't last long, however, as the scarlet haired mage entered the living/sleeping area with plates in hand, a heavenly smell wafting from each.

Curiosity and hunger successfully piqued, Natsu pushed off of the bed and immediately went over to investigate, pleasantly surprised to find that Erza had made apple crisp – a dessert dish he'd come to love over the years. What confused him, though, wasn't where she'd learned to cook. No, what stumped him was how she knew it was his favorite.

Still, he knew better to ask, and after joining Lucy and Erza at the table, was all ready to dig in.

That is, until Erza gave him a look he knew better than to challenge, and idly waited for whatever reason, absentmindedly playing with his thumbs.

Lucy, meanwhile, had taken note of Natsu's idle appearance. He looked sad; beaten, even. She felt so bad for the Dragon Slayer; he'd been suffering for weeks, probably months, and nobody had said a single word.

That changed now.

"Hey, Natsu."

Looking up from his thumbs, he discovered it was Lucy speaking, a curious expression on his face. "Huh?"

"You want to play Cards against Wizards?" She posed, reaching into her bag for a black box of what appeared to contain playing cards.

A small, yet still present smile on his face told her exactly what she needed to know – he knew what it was and, if she was correct, had played it before.

"You bet, Lucy. Be prepared, however. I happen to be a master at that game."

A laugh from the celestial wizard as she opened the box, Gray appearing through the door moments later. A quick glance from the ice wizard as an evil smile broke onto his face, easily pulling up a chair the moment he set his belongings down. Erza grinned wickedly too, and suddenly, Lucy wasn't feel so confident anymore.

"Well, Lucy? You gonna deal them out, or what?" Natsu's voice reminded her to start the game, and soon enough, the four were laughing over the Wizard Slaughter of XX87, subjects like rape, as well as the occasional mention of a penis or vagina.

While they played, they enjoyed the apple crisp courtesy of Erza, and Lucy managed to keep an eye on Natsu – she smiled whenever he smiled, and the Drgaon slayer himself…he was feeling the best in hand in weeks…no months. And that felt good, really good to be able to feel that small spark of hope he'd been missing for so long.

Yet, despite the warmth in his home, it was still missing in his heart – likely would be for a long time. And he could live with that, so long as he kept his friends at his side. With them finally aware of what was going on, perhaps he'd find his way out of this mess.

* * *

More than four hours had passed since they started playing the game ((A/N: You just lost THE GAME)), and nobody had realized it until the remaining exterior light disappeared. Erza, as always, was the first one to noticed and check the time, and after letting her friends know, made the decision to wrap up the card game – one which Natsu had won by a landslide (much to the others' disappointment).

With the sun fully gone and rain still pounding on the windows, and with dinner already over, all Natsu wanted to do was sleep, a fact he shared by yawning loudly, and of course, everybody else did seconds later.

It was past eleven pm, and after today, seemed like the perfect time to hit the sack. Erza got up first to clear the table, and once it was empty of plates and glasses, Gray dutifully folded the table up and slid it back in its' home behind Natsu's bed.

The other two, meanwhile, were preparing themselves for bed – or more appropriately, Lucy was. Natsu's nighttime ritual was to take his shirt and shoes to and to hop into bed, and he was swift to do so as Lucy stepped into the bathroom to change. Only five minutes elapsed before she emerged, wearing a pair of cotton short shorts as well as a short tank top, stopping just above her belly button. Her hair was worn down as it typically is for sleep, but she couldn't slow her rapid heartbeat as she padded back to the sleeping area.

Erza was in the kitchen, taking care of the dishes with Natsu's less-than-ideal sink, but she too found her way into the main area, already requipped into her favorite penguin pajamas.

Smiling, she joined Lucy on the sofa, both of them watching Natsu as he was already sleeping – it didn't take much for the teen to knock out. Even so, Lucy couldn't help but feel protective over the sleeping guy; she'd felt so bad for basically ignoring what was a cry for help, but with Gray already setting up his sleeping bag on the floor, the time for thinking was over.

Moving off the sofa as Erza gathered up a few blankets, she turned off the last remaining lights in the apartment, the only source of light being the odd flash of lightning. In the dark like this, she was thankful that no one could see how red her face was as she carefully slipped into bed besides Natsu.

His warmth provided excellent comfort, though she was careful not to get too close lest she wake him up by jostling too much. Even so, with her back to him, she 'eeped' in surprise as she felt a pair of hands work their way around her lower belly, gently pulling the young woman towards the source – Natsu.

Could it be that he was doing whilst asleep? Yeah, that made sense, and it spared her from a large amount of shyness.

However, unfortunately for the blonde wizard, it was fully intentional. A fact revealed by Natsu pressing his face into the back of her shoulder and whispering a few words only she could hear.

" _Thank you, Lucy. For today…for everything. I…"_ He couldn't find the words, but thankfully, he didn't have to as she turned over so they were face to face – only inches apart. _"Of course, Natsu."_ Again, she was thankful for the minimum lighting, but as she pondered her words carefully, she was surprised to feel a pair of lips against hers, stunning her more than anything.

It had been so sudden, and the obviously flustered/embarrassed Natsu scrambled to cover his tracks. _"Crap, I'm sorry, Lucy! It's just…just been a messed up day and…"_

His apology was cut off by her just-as-sudden reciprocation, and it was his turn to be stunned.

She pulled back and found his gaze, her eyes reflecting what he felt – sadness, but there was something else, something he wouldn't have recognized before he met Lucy.

Love.

* * *

 **Fluff, fluff everywhere. Not gonna bother with giving release dates anymore - writing gets sidetracked all the time.**

 **You thought this chapter was disappointing? Well, boohoo princess. I'm not gonna cater towards your idealistic views of romance or whatever shit you self-entitled Tumblr users think is good.**

 **You liked it? Hey, look at that, I lost all my fucks in the fire. Too bad, so sad.**

 **If you insist, stick around for the next chapter. I don't give a damn,**


	7. Rain

**The one time I'm going to be nice: this chapter offers a look into a depressive mindset. Granted, it only scratches the surface, but mindset all the same. You've been cautioned.  
**

 **-**

 **Fuck, what was that? Eh, whatever.**

 ****

 **Chapter 7 as promised. Oh, four chubs and one boner later, lemon stuff ahead.**

 **Don't like Nalu? Well fuck you too then.**

* * *

After what seemed like an eternity, the two mages finally broke apart, their eyes finding one another in the darkness. It was with a warm heart that Lucy sought out his hand beneath the blankets, her heart relaxing as she felt his digits settle over hers with a gentle squeeze.

Natsu's mind, during all of this kissing and emotion revelation, was racing. He desperately wanted to believe what she was saying with her heart, and at the same time, he doubted it. A small seed of dubiousness had managed to find its' way into his consciousness, and so he wondered if she was really relaying what she felt or if it was simply out of pity.

Pity, although incorrect, was far more believable than the truth. After all, who would even be remotely interested in a hot-headed weak fire mage like himself? Hell, he'd grown up without a real family, had only felt parental love for seven years, and thus he'd never learned what loving could actually be like. He didn't know that it made you feel warm and relaxed when you saw that special person. He didn't know that when you first saw them your heart thundered, nor had he known that comfort.

And now that someone who appeared to love him was right by his side, he wasn't entirely sure what to make of it. Granted, the first move had been his, as he'd been waiting _months_ to work up the courage to even attempt that. And yet, he couldn't feel as though her reciprocated kiss had only been for his sake and not her own.

It probably _was_ just a bid to make him feel better, and the Dragon Slayer quickly rolled over to face the wall.

Lucy, somewhat surprised, gently tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, Natsu? What's the matter?" Her face was still red from their kiss, but concern still shown through.

"Nothing." A quick, and biting response, so unlike the young man she'd been admiring for quite some time.

"Oh yeah, doesn't seem like nothing," the blonde easily countered, her voice still at a whisper.

"I said it's nothing, Lucy," Natsu bit back, causing the young woman only to bolster her offense.

"Oh, right. Then I guess that kiss meant nothing. It wasn't like I've waited months to actually work up to that, or at least tell you how I felt."

Stiffening, Natsu's voice lost some of its' edge. However, he still hadn't turned over to face her once more, so she had to listen more carefully. "Y…you like me?"

Sighing internally, Lucy gave a small smile to no one in particular. "Well of course, silly," she claimed, softly placing a hand atop his pink locks. "Why else would I let you kiss me that long?"

The hand on his head made Natsu feel at ease despite himself, but he was still slightly skeptical as he turned back – to face the ceiling. "Lucy, I…"

Damn it, what did he want to say? He just couldn't think of any words, but still wanted to relay that while he believed her feelings would true…something in him just couldn't.

A sudden soft hand on his chest silenced the rest of his words. "Shh…Natsu. It's okay; Erza told me everything I need to know, including the fact that you aren't able to believe me." She pulled herself closer to Natsu, she enjoying the natural warmth his body produced and he loving the sensation of another persons' presence. Like this, both felt at ease, and she could feel his even breathing – something she never would have guessed she liked.

They lay like this for an indeterminate amount of time, but neither fell asleep. Natsu's mind was abuzz with a whole lot of things, and Lucy was keeping an eye on his face – she could tell when something big was in his head. In fact, it was this little skill that made her ask her best friend what was on his mind.

"Huh? Oh…it's n-" A glare and puffed cheek practically dared him to say it was nothing, so he sighed in concession. "I'm…I'm just lost, Lucy."

Her glare quickly turned into one of moderate concern as she pushed herself upright so she had a better look at his face. "What do you mean, Natsu?"

"I…what I mean is that I'm confused." She didn't respond, but the look on her face told him to continue.

"I mean that I'm…scared. I wake up every day, and all I feel is just…numbness. It's a scary thing, to feel nothing. But that's how I start every day; numb. I don't feel anything; no joy, no sadness, nothing. It's almost like my world is without color." A pause as he gathered his thoughts.

"It started about three months ago, after that fight with Laxus. You remember, me and Gajeel were sitting on one of the benches and were covered in bandages." A slight nod from his partner told him she remembered.

"Anyway…I remember feeling unappreciated. Nobody even said thanks."

She opened her mouth, thought better of it, and let him continue.

"And that kinda sucked. I mean, I basically did help save everybody in town. But…nothing. No thanks, no pat on the back. Everybody just went on with their day and I was practically ignored." A tear had welled up in the corner of his right eye, but he was swift to clear it away.

"And to be honest…it hurt. You remember my story, right? Raised by a dragon, suddenly abandoned when I was 8. After Igneel left, I was all by myself. I was alone, and scared like I am today." His voice cut off, but found it once more after a few seconds.

"I didn't ask to feel like this. I didn't sign up to feel like I needed to take my own life…I don't know what's happening to me, and I am scared, I'm really….really scared." When his voice went out this time, it stayed out, and Lucy placed her head on his extended arm.

"Natsu…you don't have to be afraid anymore."

"But I am-"

"Natsu, listen to me, okay sweetheart? Right now, you're in the safest place you can be with your three best friends. It's night, and I'm right here. See?" She took his free hand and placed it on her cheek, suppressing a smile when it stayed there. "Exactly. Natsu, we're going to work this out; we _will_ make it better for you. Because nobody deserves to suffer like you have been." She paused, thinking back to all the times she'd seen him down yet done nothing about it.

"Natsu, I promise you I won't leave you. Swear on Kami above, I'm staying right here." She took his face in both her hands and made him look at her, her eyes revealing every word of hers was true. Speaking of eyes, Natsus' were starting to shine with tears, and in a moment of elation, he pushed forward and kissed her again, this time with more passion than before.

A fact that didn't go unnoticed by Lucy, but he spoke before she had a chance to. "Lucy…sorry, I…I'm just…thank you…" He hadn't stopped thanking her, so in order to make him quiet down, Lucy leaned in and kissed him this time, lasting longer than before.

In fact, in the heat of the moment, she'd decided to be bold and climb atop hip, her knees resting on either side of his torso. Like this, she was free to kiss him as much as she wanted. Though at this point…'kissing' was a nice term. 'Making out' would be more appropriate, and make out they did.

Lucy's lips battled and wrestled with Natsu's, his hands resting loosely on her back as she essentially straddled him. Eventually, Lucy won the lip struggle, and Natsu quickly became obedient beneath her grasp. She took ahold of his face and gently bit his lower lip, a mixture of arousal and passion driving her to things she'd only dreamed of doing.

Speaking of Natsu, he was loving it, and not really paying attention to where his hands were going, jumped and pulled them back when he felt them come to rest on Lucy's firm buttocks.

Keeping his voice down, he swiftly apologized with his hands held up near his head. "Crap, sorry Lucy! I-I didn't mean to, and my hands were just sliding-mmph!" Lucy, now red in the face, cut him off with another kiss as she re-guided his hands back to her buttocks, letting them stay there.

When she pulled up for air, her voice had taken on a more sultry tone to match her seductive eyes. "Natsu…if that was off limits I wouldn't have let them get there in the first place…" She stated, her lips eagerly seeking his out once more. This time, however, she let her hands roam over his shoulders and upper torso, and Natsu flushed. He was kinda enjoying having her hands over his body.

Matter of fact, in a bold move, he squeezed her butt in his hands, only to cause Lucy to jump and sit upright. "Not so…hard, okay?" Her face was flush, but Natsu was in disbelief. He'd not only touched her buttocks but had squeezed, and her only complaint was that it had been too hard? Crazy.

Not so crazily, however, Lucy stopped kissing him so she could focus on his body, and vice versa. Her hands were all over his arms and torso, and she eventually slid down so she could play with more of his body – she really liked how muscular he was. Matter of fact, she'd daydreamed about this, and now she was actually doing this – well, her arousal was getting the better of her and soon felt her panties grow damp.

Only wearing boxers and his casual pants, Natsu let his hands mimic what she had done to him, eventually letting himself touch and caress Lucy's generous tits. Her face was a mix of pleasure and raw lust, his hands touching all the right places after she'd sat up to allow this. It was obvious he was enjoying too, as the more he touched, she could feel his member stiffen below her legs, and this only served to turn her on more.

Eventually, after he'd been playing with her tits a while, she leaned forward and whispered into his ear. "Hey…wanna see 'em?"

His silence served as a yes in her mind, and she pulled her shirt off. She wasn't wearing a bra, and Natsu simply froze. Before him were the greatest pair of tits he'd seen ever (and he was subscriber to Wizard Monthly).

Looking to her for permission, she gave a slight nod, and just after felt his hands on her exposed tits, making Lucy grow more and more excited – ditto for Natsu. In fact, she could feel his stiffness, and after shifting, felt total pleasure spike through her body. What had just transpired, though, was that she brushed her womanhood against his stiff manhood, and god did it feel good. So good, in fact, that she was unable to resist reaching down and grabbing it, much to the young mans' surprise.

Natsu bit back a yelp as he let her touch the hard dick hiding behind his pants and boxers, and after he nodded, she slid down both articles and felt her panties flood. She never would have guessed he was this big, and gingerly slid her hand down it, Natsu shaking in response.

Smirking, Lucy started to stroke his shaft, the young mans' body so unused to this kind of pleasure. It was cute to Lucy, and although she too was a virgin, had spent more time than necessary in the adult section of the library.

"That feel good, Natsu?" It was an unnecessary question based on his reactions alone, but he still managed a nod. Even so, it wasn't long before he felt an unfamiliar sensation building in the base of his testicles. Not sure what it was, he asked Lucy.

"Lu…Lucy…there's a weird feeling…down there…"

Knowing full well what it was, she encouraged him to not hold back on the feeling as she quickly put her mouth over his erect penis. This sudden action made Natsu moan and suddenly the feeling exploded, his stiff member pump something into Lucy's mouth.

Speaking of which, the blonde pulled back with her hand cupped to her chin as weird white stuff dribbled out. She looked to be in heat herself, but the ashamed Natsu quickly reached for the tissues and handed them over to her, which she quickly used to spit and clean up.

Once she was mostly clean, Natsu had a chance to apologize. "Ah, Lucy, I'm so sorry! I didn't know that would happen!"

She wasn't mad however. She looked to be more lustful than before as she lay down on top of Natsu, her breasts pressing into his chest. Additionally, she positioned herself just so that his softening penis was right between her legs and promised to press up against her.

"It's fine, Natsu. Now, how about you take care of me?"

* * *

 **Damn right I'm lazy. More lemon stuff in chapter 8, but that'll be the end of the sexy time. Well, maybe not. I'll decide whenever that is.  
**

 **Later bitches.**


	8. No 5

**Surprise motherfuckers. Two months later and _A Falling Dragon_ is back. So if you thought it was dead, guess again, asswipes.**

 **Enjoy, you bastards.**

* * *

After Lucy servicing his needs, Natsu had the feeling that he was supposed to reciprocate. Trouble is, he didn't exactly know how to do that. Granted he'd read a few erotic novels in his teen years, but nothing could've prepared him for the sight and situation before him.

After a few seconds of indecision, the dragon slayer eventually threw reason out the window, and after nodding in agreement, brought his hands back to Lucy's breasts. Once they were resting on the soft orbs of sensitive flesh, he let his fingers dance over her areola, eliciting a low, shaky moan from the blonde. This reaction emboldened Natsu further, his hands leaving her breasts to caress her sides, palms sliding slowly over her hips and then, thighs.

Lucy, meanwhile, was starting to breathe more heavily and deeply, lust accelerating her heart rate and causing her face to flush an even deep red than before. She was surprised by how good his hands felt just on her waist, but she was in no place to complain. She even let go of a few low moans to get him excited again, and it wasn't long before she felt his manhood stiffen in between her legs. Feeling it press against her core made her want him inside her so badly, and to emphasize this, pressed her hips down onto the stiff member below.

This action made Natsu tilt his head back and loose a low moan, his desire to be inside her near overwhelming. He wanted nothing more than to feel what it was like inside of her, but he still respected women as an entity. He wasn't going to ask if they could have sex, but thankfully, he didn't have to as Lucy leaned forward to slip her black panties off her hips and down her legs.

Now totally naked, she smiled at Natsu's awestruck face, leaning forward to plant a soft kiss on his lips, one which he happily reciprocated even as Lucy's hand found its way around his manhood. Another moan later, and her hand was quickly stroking the large member as she mentally prepared herself to have said member inside her.

"N..Natsu…is it okay if I put in in me…? I've….I've wanted to know what you'd feel like inside me…" Her face was flush with embarrassment, equally as much as Natsu's was as she asked.

"I..I'd love to…but I don't have a condom, Lucy…" He was mentally kicking himself for not even having one condom in his apartment, but Lucy came to the rescue as she reached to the floor for her bag, pulling herself upright with a small foil package tucked between her index and middle fingers. "Well…it's a good thing I came prepared, then." She winked, and after a few minutes of awkward fumbling, the contraceptive was secured in place.

It was evident both partners were nervous, but Lucy, after shifting herself over Natsu's girth, moved first. She felt the warmth push against her opening, and was careful in taking the rest of it into her. It felt…it felt so good sliding into her like this, the warmth sliding further up into her until she came to rest, their hips touching.

Natsu, alternately, was making faces only reserved for situations like this. He had no words, or feelings to describe the sensation - having never actually masturbated before, he felt like he would burst at any moment, and that moment came mere seconds after Lucy started to slide on his manhood.

"Lucy, I'm gonna-!" She'd only gotten in four or five strokes before Natsu orgasmed, and despite herself, orgasmed right along with him. Even so, Natsu felt bad he'd lasted all of thirty seconds, a fact which he thought disappointed his partner.

A crack of lightning lit up the room, highlighting Natsu's downtrodden face as he turned his head to the side as if to avoid judgement. Lucy wasn't about to stand for it, however. "Natsu, sweetie?"

The pink haired boy turned his head to meet that lovely gaze.

"You don't have to worry about not lasting long. It felt good, Natsu, really good, and you even made me come."

"I..I did?"

"Mmhm." Lucy was smiling, Natsu's length still inside her but quickly going flaccid. "Besides, there'll be plenty of times in the future where we can do this again." She smiled warmly once more before slipping herself off of his length and lying down next to him, the blankets pulled securely up to their necks. Of course, the condom was already discarded carelessly, but Natsu figured it wouldn't be found below the bed…

Little did they know that they'd had an audience, though.

Erza had been woken up by a particularly loud clap of thunder, and just before she'd turned over to attempt sleep, she'd caught Lucy kissing Natsu. She wanted to chide her for doing so, but as she watched, Natsu appeared relaxed, at ease. As though her presence calmed him, so Erza remained quiet.

This, however, proved a mistake as she watched with half-lidded eyes their sexcapade unfold. It was very steamy and erotic, and despite herself, Erza was pushing her hand down into her pajama pants. There, she started rubbing her womanhood through her simple white panties, but the moment she felt them grow damp, she'd pushed her hand below them and worked on her wet core directly.

She masturbated as she watched Lucy and Natsu have sex for the first time, her own core tingling and begging to be penetrated by something, anything. That something quickly turned out to be her own index and middle fingers, so soon enough, Erza was masturbating to her two friends.

It felt wrong, but it felt way too good to stop, her fingers thrusting in time with the motions of the lovers in Natsu's bed. Eventually, with her fingers embarrassingly slick, she too climaxed – perhaps a bit too loudly.

But whatever God was watching over them decided she wasn't going to get busted for it, and with a silent thanks, she eventually drifted off back to sleep.

It was about eight am when Natsu woke up to the pleasant smell of bacon accompanied by the homely popping sound. He was wondering who was cooking until Lucy shifted in her sleep, whereupon the events of the day before flooded back to him.

And that made him sad; he'd been, and still was so weak, weak enough that he'd nearly taken his own life. He was still struggling too, but when Lucy yawned and rolled over, he couldn't help but feel good.

Her perfect eyes…he could get lost in them forever, but right now, bacon was a good start.

* * *

 **I don't know when the next chapter will be out - maybe next week, maybe next month. I don't know.  
**


	9. AUTHORS' UPDATE

**AUTHORS' UPDATE**

 _A Falling Dragon_ is still ongoing, so don't worry about it falling off the face of the Earth. However, I find it harder and harder to write convincing chapters, and as a friendly reviewer pointed out, my chapters have become less and less believable.

I'd like to think that the source of authenticity comes from my own personal experiences with depression - much the same as the Natsu in this story. While Natsu hasn't passed a majority of his issues, I have, and therein lies the problem. I no longer hold the mindset I did when starting this fic, and can no longer maintain that emotional authenticity I've been striving for.

That said, I'll be taking an indeterminate hiatus from writing _A Falling Dragon._ While I understand that this won't make people happy, know that I am still an active writer of fan fiction. My work, while sporadic, while continue...in between my small social life and college courses. I'm sorry if this upsets any one of my readers - it's not my intent to annoy or aggravate you guys.

I'd like to open my inbox to suggestions. Story ideas; if you'd like to see the story take a different direction, you're free to give that advice. Or for character development; if one characters is too flat or isn't given enough attention, tell me. I can take your suggestions into account while working on chapter nine, which, if you're curious, opens with Natsu sleeping, Erza making breakfast, and Lucy coaxing our favorite dragon slayer out of bed. Beyond that, I'm kinda lost.

I really, really appreciate any advice or help you readers can give - it's greatly appreciated and while I won't take just one idea into consideration, they will help me with the next chapter immeasurably. I cannot thank you enough for the continued reading, reviews, and messages - it really helps bolster an authors confidence.

Thank you guys for being such an understanding audience, and you will hear from me again soon, that much I can promise.

~Writer, author, avid gamer, and your friend, A Silent Conversation


	10. Street Dreams

**Shorter than the usual from me, I know. But I wanted to get this out after months and months of delays, and even now I'm not sure how soon I'll be able to get chapters out. Regardless, this could be the end of the brief saga of Natsu and company - leaving the recovery to another fic..if I feel like it.**

 **I don't know, and I hope you readers enjoy the next and possibly final chapter of A Falling Dragon.**

* * *

The smell of bacon was far too tempting to keep Natsu in bed, but a part of him still wished to remain in the security of the blankets. He didn't want to have to face his fears again – the people, the disappointment, none of it. All he wanted was to sink into the mattress and never resurface.

A rogue hand and arm had a different view on that matter, so when said limb slunk into the blankets and took his hand, he reflexively squeezed it only to feel a gentle tug. Curious, Natsu followed the tugging and soon was face to face with the owner of the arm – a fully dressed Lucy Heartfilia.

Seeing her face in the daylight like this made him recall the events of the night before, and his face just as quickly turned red as the blonde laughed gently.

"Well good morning to you too, Natsu. Sleep well?" That was a loaded question and they both knew it, but Natsu didn't feel like responding with wit.

"Man, I haven't slept like that in a long time. Granted I never used to sleep well," Natsu explained, sitting cross-legged on his bed. "But that was definitely an exception."

"Glad to hear it. Now come on, Erza's making breakfast."

Nodding, Natsu complied and followed the celestial wizard into the relatively small kitchen to find an… _interestingly_ dressed Erza preparing a wide range of food. This included: eggs, toast, bacon, omelets, and Natsu even spotted home fries.

It all looked good and smelled even better, so when Erza turned around she was pleasantly surprised to see a ghost of a smile on Natsu's face. Good, so he could be helped. Only question was _who_ could help? Erza herself had yet to learn the reason for Natsu's frame of mind, and Lucy was privy to only a small part of that information.

"Good morning, Natsu. I've taken to preparing the foods I can find in your home, so why don't you go wake up Gray while Lucy helps me in here?" She was smiling pleasantly too, not revealing the inner worry she held for the pink haired friend disappearing back into the living room.

Once he was, though, Lucy turned to question Erza.

"Uhm…Erza? Why did you want my help when you have everything under control?" The celestial wizard queried, her hands clasped together below her waist.

Erza didn't waste a second in her explanation. "I needed to talk to you in private."

"O-okay. What about?" The blonde shifted her weight onto her other leg while bacon sizzled pleasantly on the range.

"We need to find out more about how Natsu is feeling. The only idea any of us have is that he's depressed, but none of us have really figured out why. That's why it falls to you to ask him; he won't get too upset if its' the girl he cares for that's asking. Understand?"

Lucy got it, but didn't like the idea of prodding too deeply, especially when she knew that Natsu was on a knifes' edge. It'd be risky, but it was something they needed to do. "I got it, Erza. I'll let you know when I find out."

Nodding, Erza plated the food. "Good. Natsu! Gray! Breakfast!"

Almost immediately afterwards, the two boys entered the small kitchen, and a few moments later, everybody was situated at the table. Mind you, it was essentially a card table, so space was at a premium, but none of them really minded. They were all friends, and they shared nearly everything with one another. A bystander could easily call them a family, and there would be no protest to that claim.

"Thanks for cooking, Erza. I didn't know you were that good of a cook." Natsu, partially resembling his former self, complimented Erza on the expertly made breakfast. It felt and tasted like home, and for once, the small apartment didn't feel so empty.

"My pleasure, Natsu. Now, with breakfast out of the way, who's up for a vacation?" Vacation?

"Hold up Erza," Gray interjected. "Did Pops really say it was okay for us to leave town for a few days?"

She nodded, her fork spearing a rogue bit of pancake. "Mmhm. I spoke with him last night before we all turned in. He said it was a good idea for the four of us to spend some time away from the guild."

Natsu, while excited about the prospect of vacation, was also wary. He was certain that there was an ulterior motive to this trip, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"Erza, where are we going?" Lucy posed, her knee not-so-accidentally into Natsu's, sending the dragon mage into a state of nervousness – he was thinking about last night, and his embarrassed face reflected that. Erza noticed, and asked him if he was okay.

All he could manage was a nod, with Lucy smirking beneath her hand. She had to admit he was very easy to mess with, and while she wouldn't abuse her newfound power, it was good to see him something other than lethargic.

Her attention was taken by Erza, who was going to speak about their destination. "Well, it's more of a road trip through the kingdoms. Our first stop…" She then went on to lay the plan out, how she wanted things to go, and what their final stop would be before returning home.

Natsu didn't care – just as long he was with Lucy.


End file.
